As part of my Course, this week I was asked to reflect on three of four discussions with people - recalling what I heard and what I did not hear. Or where I listened and who I did not listen to.
Despite the obvious weakness in this approach - simply being aware that I was to listen to people has (I hope) made me far more open to listening, it has been a great task. And as I have to record it, and am sat at the moment waiting for a bit of other work to arrive in my Inbox, I thought I would now put finger to keyboard to record three of my observations.
I have far more examples, this week, of where I feel I have listened to people, and God, than not. This is not because I some sort of superhuman who rests constantly I God's care - though I strive for it - but much more because I have been aware that I am meant to be listening!
A windy day
So, late last week, when I went to the Opticians where I was efficiently parted with large sums of cash, where I listened the first time. It was a windy day - very windy in fact. I drove in to Market Harborough and parked near Tesco's - although I had no intention of shopping there that day. I had about fifty minutes before my appointment and planned to get some photo copying done - which I needed for a meeting later on that day - and grab a coffee during which time I would tend to my e-mails and other work related issues.
But as I walked from the car towards the town centre, I was stuck by just how windy it was. This was clearly illustrated by an old lady, bent almost double, legs moving slowly as she battled into the wind - heading towards the footbridge over the river. Yet no matter how much her short legs moved, she was making no headway against the wind.
Her head was bent down; I imagined her teeth gritted with determination. And before I knew what I was doing, I was stood alongside her offering my arm to help her. She took it and there I was walking slowly against the direction I was going in and appreciating the sheer strength of the wind. We walked slowly - she was heading for Northampton Road - a slight panic went through my head - at this rate I will never get back to the Opticians in time. But this is the walk this lady had embarked upon. It would have been her day. I offered to get my car - she declined but a few minutes later - and only a few yards more progress - she asked if I would get my car. So I did, and we drove out of the car park, along parts of town I had never been on before - to her destination. Driving still took almost ten minutes - helped by the never ending road works that typify Market Harborough (water mains work this time).
All in all, it took my thirty minutes out of the fifty minutes I had available. But I listened - helped others - and still had time for the photocopying and a quick coffee - and very few e-mails that needed any attention. And still got to the opticians which allowed them to take my money.
Not listening to my kids
What shame. To write and record it here - not listening to be children. The significance of this came really after the event - when in the prayer room and reflecting on what is and is not important. How often I get it the wrong way round.
So, at the weekend Phoebe bought a skateboard from a car boot sale. Now, I was pretty pleased with myself over the car boot sale. As far as I am concerned they are the epitome of an awful time - my life is too full of clutter as it is, why would I want to fill the house with clutter other people are wanting to get rid off. But the kids love them - so good for me. Pat on the back. And they got some great things - headphones (allowing the playing of the electric guitar without major disturbance), a new keyboard, and this skateboard.
Now, it is a Bratz skateboard, and Phoebe was keen to paint it. She was so keen she got the paint out. I kept explaining - sort of - that it needed more than just painting. That it needed some thought - white emulsion would not do. It was really me saying, 'No not now, things to do. Washing, tidying. Sitting doing me things' and I failed to understand and appreciate the enthusiasm that Phoebe had to do this. I should have been more receptive - so Phoebe, I am sorry.
Listening to my Kids
But I did redeem it - in a way. No, the skateboard is still not painted. But on Sunday it was Samuel's birthday party and on Monday I promised to read one of his new stories. But time dragged on and on. The kids did not seem to understand the importance of getting ready for bed. Nor my work that I had still to do, or the poster to design, or the essay to write, or the clothes to iron. The pressures that the children just do not understand.
So it got to the time when, eventually, they were ready for bed. I told them, 'lights out'. And guess what. They complained. I had promised to read them a story. Did they not understand - it is their fault. They have delayed, made me annoyed. My work was outstanding - important and now, urgent. I was annoyed - they could have had a story if they have not delayed in getting ready for bed. They have to learn - they can't have everything. They have responsibilities as well.
But then I remembered I was meant to be listening. And the prayer room had reminded me about precious moments; those times all too often missed and then lost forever. So, I picked up a book and told the kids to get comfortable. And I read, and read. It was a book about the second world war - bombings in London, and a young girl - the children's age. How she missed her Mum and Dad during the evacuation, the problems of then living in London and the pressures her Mum faced. It doesn't sound so good, but it was spell binding. I was the master story teller - my kids held their breath at the key points, and hung on to every word.
And boy, did I enjoy it. Work did not matter. Essays were not important. The ironing did not need doing. But I did need to be with my kids.
Listening to God
I can't sum up this week without a thank you to the Prayer Room (www.tinyurl.com/kfpraise) and how spending time with God has opened me up to hearing his voice. There are too many examples this week for me to list or describe here. But just to say, thank you to all of you who have spoken to me this week. It has been appreciated and I have taken loads from it.
Thank you Lord for opening my eyes and enabling me to listen.
You can find out more about the Certificate of Christian Discipleship here http://www.leicester.anglican.org/diocesan-info/subsite/school-for-ministry.aspx and click Certificate of Christian Discipleship. I am studying at St Wilfrid's, Kibworth.
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